When we think we're right

Sometimes we make our decisions with such conviction like its the perfect thing to do. Sometimes we just make a decision without thinking. I made one of those decisions. I felt convinced, adament but I didnt think, regret will take a while to fade off.

I wish I knew better.

Its never the end

When we are young, somethings feel like they are the end of this world, but thats the age when its the beginning of everything.

Pieces of Me

I shatter like glass and break into million pieces,

Courage picks up the pieces,

and puts them back together,

Im still a broken glass,

But I cant break more than I already have.

Im a believer

By neil diamond

I thought love was only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else but not for me.
Love was out to get me
Thats the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.

Then I saw his face, now Im a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
Im in love, Im a believer!
I couldnt leave him if I tried.

I thought love was more or less a given thing,
Seems the more I gave the less I got.
Whats the use in tryin?
All you get is pain.
When I needed sunshine I got rain.

Then I saw his face, now Im a believer
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
Im in love, Im a believer!
I couldnt leave him if I tried.

P.S: Im not in love.

Yet, Im a believer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEnOBhpv2zM

Le Courage

I want to be the best in my league, I want to be ahead of them all. I just need some courage, some power and some will. Iam lacking those for now. Id like to blame the heat, but lets be real, its me.

Lets go in order:

1) Story

2) Room

3) Summer project

4) PSD

Dear God. I need help.

Abstract-ions

We all feel in a certain way about certain things that make us who we are.

I have alot of things on my list that need to be done. I need to pull up my socks, fight the heat and my fears. Be the person I have to be. The passionate, orgainsed, ambitious Me.

Lies and Ties

We all think what we want to do in life, we all are super ambitious. Well most of us are. Most are opportunists while others work their way out. Im stuck in a world of lies and ties.

Step 1

http://paperartstudio.tripod.com/artistsway/id3.html

http://www.theartistsway.com/tools/creative-clusters

http://www.articlesbase.com/writing-articles/writing-help-and-morning-pages-46501.html

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-to-unleash-your-creativity

Friendly Faces

Facebook Status:

RA :I must write. I must write all the more. There is much I have seen in life, and there is much to be put to the page. The Page is where I listen to the world, to my Self, to the story of the Universe...

5people like this

Matti at 4:54pm June 22

Good for you. I'm having a total block, but it's not that bad. I just need to W-O-R-K to overcome.

Me at 5:01pm June 22

I can empathise. I hate these blocks!

Agnes at 5:06pm June 22

I had a block for ten years and it magically disappeared in January this year... thanks to morning pages (Julia Cameron). that's really strong stuff

RA at 5:18pm June 22

Ha ha! Agnes -- I have taken to writing Morning Pages since a month ago. What a release of life's potential they are! They work beyond just writing. They open ME up!

Is that true in your experience too?

Me at 5:19pm June 22

I just got introduced to morning pages, i want to know more

RA at 5:24pm June 22

Morning Pages -- a writing technique. Each morning (it has to be morning, not later), write three pages with your hand -- not on computer. Three A-4 sized pages of whatever comes to your mind. It can be a ramble, it can be nonsense. Don't think, just write whatever comes to the mind.

It can be a bit difficult and very time consuming for the firstcouple of days, because the mind is used to blocking. The idea of these pages is to remove the mental blocks. Transfer the thoughts in the head via the hand onto the page.

This technique does more than just shape up writing: it shapes up one's life.

Me at 5:26pm June 22

I just googled it and Im going to start it ASAP. It sounds painful though ;) Thanks RA and Agnes

RA at 5:27pm June 22

Someone to whom I recently mentioned the Morning Pages told me yesterday: "I tried to do it, but I couldn't. I got up one morning, and only managed to write half a page. Then I couldn't go on -- but I had risen early, so I got to office earlier. And now I've been going to office earlier since -- I actually get a lot more work done!"

I said, "You see? Only half a page written once made a difference!"

Me at 5:28pm June 22

oh btw do we have to read what we write? I cant do that now

RA at 5:30pm June 22

Ummm... the pages are more about writing than reading. Initially, they'll be just nonsense. Over a few days, I noticed that the pages started revealing very good insights.

How about you take up the practice and see where it leads you? The practice will lead you on its own. :)

Here's the key: Don't think about it. Just do it! :)

Agnes at 7:49pm June 22

Gosh, this is quite a trail.... I did morning pages for half an hour each day for a month and that was it. It undid a ten year writer's block and now I can't stop. It's like a well LOL. They are not meant to be read: they are there to empty your mind of your negativity and get you past that negativity. If you do it long enough, you'll realise that you can't write negatively including about your writing for more then ten minutes before getting bored stiff... so you move into interesting stuff. I put a star in the margin of the lightbulb moments I get. It gets you into creative writing. It's amazing. It's also about setting time for yourself: which nurtures the creativity and the energy to do things.

Me at 7:55pm June 22

Thanks Agnes, you and RA have appeared like angels today ;)

Agnes at 8:03pm June 22

You are welcome.. Your block should melt away easily. Please don't work hard at doing it: nourish your soul

:-)

Big hug

Rainbows and Butterflies

Small acts of kindness are what we need,

All they do is bring a smile on faces,

Or change the way we think,

Thats what we all need to do,

To spread love, peace and most importantly tolerance amongst us.

I remeber having a bad day and I was driving home when a cute boy on the road, hardly 5 years of age, looked at me, smiled and said Assalamualikum. Thats what I needed that day :)

The thing called LOVE

The other day while cleaning my room I found a chit that had "love exists in delusional fantasies" written on it. I cant remember when I wrote that and if I was the one who originally came up with that but it was something important thats why it was on a chit.

Meredith recently said something that made perfect sense. Its not about finding the right person, its about finding 'the person' on THE RIGHT TIME and THE RIGHT PLACE. Even if you meet the right person but if the time or place arent right, it'll end up in a mess.

Yesterday I watched the movie Love and other disasters, and I loved a few parts of it, like when the gay guy said "true love isnt an event its a process" and "Sometimes I think true love is a capitalist conspiracy". Sigh.

  

To be continued...................

Aik Alif

English Translation and Lyrics originally in Punjabi:

Parh parh ilm te faazil hoya
(You read to become all knowledgable)

Te kaday apnay aap nu parhya ee na
(But you never read yourself)

Bhaj bhaj warna ay mandir maseeti
(You run to enter your mosques and temples)

Te kaday mann apnay wich warya ee na
(But you never entered your own heart)

Larna ay roz shaitaan de naal
(Everyday you fight Satan)

Te kadi nafs apnay naal larya ee na
(But you never fight your own Ego)

Bulleh Shah asmaani ud-deya pharonda ay
(Bulleh Shah you try grabbing that which is in the sky)

Te jera ghar betha unoon pharya ee na
(But you never get hold of what sits inside yourself)

Bas kareen o yaar
(Stop it all my friend)

Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar
(stop seeking all this knowledge my friend)

Ik Alif teray darkaar
(Only an Alif is what you need)

Bas kareen o yaar
(stop it all my friend)

Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar…
(Stop seeking all this knowledge my friend)

Allah Sayyaan Allah Sayyaan
(God is Greatness, God is All)

Nee main jaanaa Jogi de naal
(I shall follow the Jogi {ascetic/Sufi})

Jo naa jaane, Haqq ki taaqat
(those who deny the strength of Truth)

Rab naa devey us ko Himmat
(God does not give them courage)

Hum Mann ke darya mein doobey
(We have drowned in the river of Self)

Kaisi nayya? Kya manjhdhaar…
(the boat and the flowing waters do not matter)

Bas kareen o yaar
(stop it all my friend)

Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar
(stop seeking all this knowledge my friend)

Allah Sayyaan Allah Sayyaan
(God is Greatness, God is All)

(thanks Hareem and Farah)

Myself and A the Bee

Talking to A has become a regular activity which I enjoy but Iam very scared. There are many things that make my head spin. One fact is that I think about the future (a certain aspects like my carrer etc) all the time and one reason is that it shapes my present and therefore my actions. It might not sound very practical to alot of people but this is how I work now. Sometimes it is important regardless of the fact that what has to happen will happen and theres absolutely nothing I can do to stop it or change what has to happen. Well the importance obvioulsy needs an explanation for support. Its like, thinking about it makes me want to work harder or not fall in love; and love being a separate topic should be kept aside for the moment.

A thinks I have alot to learn. I cant disagree with A but I think theres a reason why people are the way they are. Iam still thinking about all this.

Disclaimer: I will continue on writing regardless I might jump from topic to topic and it may sound disconnected, Im loving the flow of thoughts tonight.

I havent done anything constructive or new this summer which is quite sad. Its about time I start my summer project. Ive been watching movies and sleeping. A is right I should make the best out of this time.

What I love the most is when things go in harmony like right now, its perfect timings, Iam able to post everything that is in my head right now.

I think whatever A said was perfectly true. Iam a sucker when it comes to admitting things. Maybe stubborn is the right word to use.

Everybody hurts

I can only relate to this song: 

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on

'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone

Reasons

Sometimes things happen without a reason and sometimes we need a reason for them to happen.

Right now I needed a reason to cry and I watched seven pounds. Trust me it can give you a good cry when you are desperate for one.

Pre blogging and post blogging

Iam happy that I joined the blog world. Reading other peoples blogs and maintaining mine adds 2 and 2 for in its own strange way. It changes my thoughts and makes me more positive and grateful for what I have. I enjoy reading kAy and Jammies post. Some posts are very well written and some of them answer questions that only experience could make up for.

Numbness

I feel numb today. Very numb. Lately i cant write my thoughts properly. They are in random order, I have mixed feelings and I think I might have fallen. I hate this.

I know Iam a strong person.

Annoying blackouts

I think all day what Iam going to write in for my blog. All the frustrating thoughts, the annoying thoughts, my dreams, literally all my thoughts and when I finally, after all the struggle, get the computer my mind goes blank. Absolutely blank which is quiet depressing because these thoughts are what keep my head occupied for days and days.

Atleast one good thing that has happened these days is that Iam sure of two things, I love Meredith and she went to Canada for good. It has brought us closer.  I have my best times with her. She is my sister.

Another thing that surprises me is,as Iam growing, I enjoy  experiencing the unpredicitability of life. It is the wierdest experience.These things are what I think of all and what they turn out to be. One thing I have realised is that no matter what, God has been very kind to me when Hehas  wanted to give me something or anything. He has His own way of making me happy and He does make me wait to test my patience but He really knows how to surprise me in the end.

I have mixed feelings for the ipod offer from Meredith. Theres overwhelmimg joy, sadness and confusion. Joy because Ive ALWAYS wanted one, sadness is there because its hers and I dont think I can take it without buying it from her and therefore Iam confused. 

It is one of the complicated issues. Lets see what happens. She has also offered her Remington straightner which is very kind of her because mine is not as good as hers and she just got her hair bonded. It looks amazing. Ive taken these offers as a signal that maybe He's found an ipod for me but Iam not sure. 

The best thing about His surprises is that He throws alot of surprises at once and makes an entire month a happy month. Like He arranged 5K for me and the black dress. Last year He did it by getting me first position in the country and getting my card poublished. The prize money was yummy. Then the job at HX. With all that money I got stuff I REALLY wanted.

Thank you. I love you

Hamz wedding

Finally Meredith's brother is married. 

Meredith's house will never be the same again. 

It will never feel the same at home again.

Confessions and thoughts

I think I think too much, and I tend to think about things that are beyond my control or not under my sphere of influence.

P.S: Dont mind my randomness, I sometimes write thoughts as they come in and end up not making sense at all

Right now I want to get more comfortable with blogging. The annoying part is that I have soo many thoughts and I cant put them together in order. Oh forget order, i  cant even write them.

Hello blog world

So, Iam new to the blog world.

Reasons to join it:

1) I cant maintain a journal

2) Iam verbose

3) My thoughts need to be written (this should have been number 1)

4) I want to write a memoir before i die

5) I want to see how my thoughts evolve over time hence they need to be recorded

6) Iam a good writer(people say that). I think I can be a good writer when iam in the mood too write or i dont have the writers block issue

Reasons of staying anonymous:

1) Iam a private person, i dont let things out easily, yet i need to express myself

2) I want to be myself while expressing myself and not worry about other peoples judgements