I have a married friend, who at certain events makes me doubtful about our friendship. Who is a friend? Someone who knows you deeply, doesnt whine about you not staying in touch because the friend knows youre at an art school and the first year isnt easy. Well, recently she calls me up and suggests a full life plan for me which includes a life partner. "Hey you remember A from my wedding?" (oh yeah that wierd guy who wouldnt stop staring?!) He's looking for a girl (AGAIN? oh yeah he got divorced. no wonder this conversation sounds familiar. You've tried to set me up with him gazillions of times, and everytime you suggest that you disappear, not that Iam interested myself)
"You guys are perfect for eachother.Hes an amazing person and since 'youre my best friend' and hes my husbands bestfriend we could be soo together. Like meet up all the time.
UH-are you for real? We're not in grade five. BFFS forever and where is this delusion coming from? You are my friend who got married to a super rich industrialist even though you had a boyfriend but you chose to conform and obey to what youre less richer industrialist father wanted. Even though you have your fake days i dont know how you pretend to be forgetful about all those times when you've complained about the adversities of marriage and how you were better off without him.
Thats the dilemma of our culture. Or maybe to put it more neatly the lifestyle of the rich and the famous that have created this wierd culture. Have a painful extravagant wedding and a function for every move. The proposal got accepte- throw up a big party and wear the prettiest dress from an expensive designer and invite all your friends and show off how rich you are. Then obviously comes the engagement which is no less than a wedding. Oh how could you forget two separate mehndi, one from both parties and the slutty dances that follow. Then the Nikkah ceremony. Then comes the 'wedding' which is just a rukhsati and then its time for the guys family to show off at the Valima. Theres a Rs.3.5 million wedding, in a country where some people sleep empty stomach.
I believe the purpose of a marriage is to feel the whole process of becoming one when you say i do(qabool hai). It could be a simple Nikkah at a mosque and a dinner for close family and friends the other day as the Valima. How about spend money on settling up?
But theres another dilemma. Marriage seems to be over rated to me. Also because of my horrible love life experiences. always after the wrong guy. And trust me getting off all this isnt easy. A heart full of emotions and female hormones are difficult to handle.
So talking of my recent crush. He's a photographer. Senior in college. Not the hottest guy around but the biggest flirt. How charming is that? You get flirtatious(if thats a word) replies from someone youre head over heels. I dont know how he does it. Iam too naive. Agreed. But he does mean things he says like you are a really nice person. Its like his way of telling me im trouble stay away from me, unless you love breaking your heart. So one day he gives me full attention and the other he realises he has to ignore me. Like even delete his facebook status which has my comment and the only one. Now what does that even mean. Not pick up my call. Now that does make me sound desperate but not to forget he is my friend and trust me the flirting is unilateral.
I just hope and pray for my benefit and sanity.
